Help! My mum deleted all my phone games, and now I feel upset when I see her

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Need an answer to a personal question that you’ve never mustered the courage to ask? We’ve been there. Whether it is about school, family issues or social life, share your thoughts with us. If you have a question you’d like answered (about anything at all), please fill out this Google Form. Don’t worry – you will remain anonymous!

Dear Friend,

My mum is very strict. She deleted all my games from my phone and said she won’t download them again. I begged her to let me have my games, but she refused. What should I do? I feel angry, upset and annoyed almost every time I see her. Please help me!

Signed, Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

We understand it can be frustrating when your desires clash with your mum’s rules. Here are a few suggestions that might help you address the situation:

– Acknowledge and understand your emotions. Take some time to reflect on why you feel upset and annoyed. Understanding your emotions can help you communicate them more effectively.

– Have a calm conversation with your mum. Find a suitable time for an open and respectful chat. Express your emotions and concerns without getting defensive or confrontational. Try to understand her perspective as well. Calm and constructive dialogue can help you both find a compromise.

– Listen to your mum’s concerns. She may have valid reasons for deleting the games from your phone; for example, maybe she is worried about your grades. Try to understand her reasoning; this can help you have a more empathetic approach to the situation.

– Find common ground and look for areas of compromise or alternative activities that you and your mum can agree upon. Perhaps you can negotiate specific times for playing games or find activities that align with her values and your interests. Finding common ground can be a starting point for resolving conflict.

I told my mum about my problems, and she betrayed my trust. What should I do?

– Show responsibility and prove to your mum that you can handle your commitments while also enjoying games. Show that you can manage time effectively, complete tasks, and maintain a balanced lifestyle. You can rebuild trust and gradually regain privileges by demonstrating maturity and responsibility.

– Consider asking a family member, relative, or family friend to mediate the conversation between you and your mum. They could provide guidance and support in finding a resolution.

It’s important to approach the situation with respect and understanding. While finding a compromise may not always be possible, open communication and empathy can help improve your relationship with your mum.

Talk to a school counsellor or mental health professional if the conflict persists and significantly impacts your well-being. They can provide further assistance tailored to your specific situation.

Hope that helps, Friend of a Friend

This question was answered by Ken Fung, director of therapy and counselling at The Jadis Blurton Family Development Center and founder of Your Relationship Clinic.

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