Asking for a Friend: Help! I think my friends only like me because of my money
Each week, we respond to a question from our readers and give advice and resources they can turn to.
Real friends will like you for you, not for what you can offer them. Photo: ShutterstockNeed an answer to a personal question that you’ve never mustered the courage to ask? We’ve been there. Whether it is about school, family issues or social life, share your thoughts with us. If you have a question you’d like answered (about anything at all), please fill out this Google Form. Don’t worry – you will remain anonymous!
Dear Friend,
I think my friends only like me because my family is wealthy. I want genuine friends who like me for who I am, not my money. How do I find real friends?
Signed, Uncertain
Help! My friend is being ostracised at school.
Dear Uncertain,
Navigating friendships when money is a factor can be challenging. Here are some things you could do:
Exercise discretion
It is not necessary to share your financial status immediately with new acquaintances. Disclose what makes sense as the relationship progresses.
Reflect on what you say and do
How do you talk about your financial situation? You may have unintentionally led others to focus on your wealth by bringing up the things you have and get to experience. Avoid showcasing your status, especially to impress those around you. This might mean refraining from purchasing lavish items in group settings and being mindful of what you post and share on social media.
Communicate your feelings
Authentic friendships are built on trust and understanding. Express your desire for genuine connections with your friends. This can help establish a foundation for these relationships.
Help! I have a panic attack every time I see my former bullies. What should I do?
Seek out like-minded individuals
Join activities you enjoy where you are likely to meet similar people. To build meaningful friendships, seek out individuals who share your passions, values and interests. This can be a good start to a deeper friendship.
Lead by example
Try simple, non-materialistic activities such as hiking or volunteering. Grow an appreciation for life’s simpler pleasures. This approach can encourage your friends to look beyond your financial status and value you for you.
Evaluate existing friendships
Take the time to reflect on your current friendships. If certain friends seem too interested in your wealth, it may be worth reassessing those relationships and prioritising those that feel more genuine.
While it takes time to find friends who appreciate you for who you are, being proactive and intentional in your efforts will lead to more fulfilling connections and friendships.
Sending you luck, Friend of a Friend
This question was answered by clinical psychologists from the Department of Health under Shall We Talk, a mental health initiative launched with the Advisory Committee on Mental Health.