bodyType

customContents

entityId

entityUuid

articlePageQuery

filter

article

articleBaseAdvertisingInfoArticle

articleListArticle

articleSeoArticle

helpersCheckIsPostiesArticle

hooksArticleAcknowledgementGateOverlayArticle

hooksTrackPageViewArticle

hooksContentInterestArticle

articleLinkingDataContent

articleSchemaContent

liveArticle

advertZone

sentiment

contentLock

topics

types

sections

moreOnThisArticles

urlAlias

commentCount

sponsorType

authorLocations

authors

paywallTypes

corrections

displaySlideShow

multimediaEmbed

printHeadline

seriesContainer

socialHeadline

headline

flag

firstTopic

glossary

flattenTypeIds

publishedDate

additionalInfoBoxes

images

image

relatedLinks

relatedNewsletters

__typename

createdDate

sponsor

factSheets

series

disableOffPlatformContent

published

updatedDate

summary

subHeadline

body

keywords

copyrighted

customTimezone

liveContents

Ben Young




[Sponsored Article]
In the first of South China Morning Post’s new EdTalk video series, in which education specialists discuss pertinent issues surrounding education, we chat to American David Lovelin, high school principal at Hong Kong International School (HKIS).
The international Christian private school in Hong Kong has lower and upper primary schools, for children aged four to 10, at its Repulse Bay campus and middle and high schools, for children aged 11 to 18, at its Tai Tam campus.
Lovelin talks to education reporter Ben Young about what inspired him to become a teacher and a topic that has long-generated strong debate – whether it is best to send a child to boarding school for their secondary education.
“I got into education because I loved being in high school,” Lovelin says. “I grew up and lived in the US state of Oregon my whole life until … I started looking at moving internationally with my family.
“I had a great experience in Oregon at the high school I attended and, as I moved into college [university], it was something I really wanted to move into as a profession.
“I’d worked in large public high schools back in Oregon … the smallest school with around 1,400 students, the largest nearly 2,000 … and had really great experiences.
“Currently, HKIS’ high school [has] 800 students and it’s a really great size. In some of those larger high schools, because they’re so big it’s hard to create community within it … get to know people, your faculty and students.
Having your family unit close by, so they can support each other when [times are] difficult is great. But also to be a part of those exciting moments – when you win a [sports] championship
David Lovelin, high school principal, Hong Kong International School
So what does Lovelin think about sending children to boarding school for their secondary school education?
“First, I think that as a family, you have to sit down and decide what’s important to you,” says Lovelin, who started working in Asia six years ago.
“If you just want your child to have a different experience and to live overseas, then there’s pluses to that, but there’s also some things that are really challenging.”
One of the biggest issues families face with regard to sending their children to study at boarding schools is that the youngsters will no longer have direct access to their families – their primary support system.
This is particularly true if the children move to study abroad, where factors such as time differences come into play.

“I think that having your family unit close by, so that they can support each other when [times are] difficult is great,” Lovelin says.
“But also to be a part of those exciting moments – when you win a [sports] championship and your family’s there to be a part of it, or when you’ve been selected for an award and [the parents] can be part of that conversation.”
Many parents, especially in Hong Kong, choose to send their children to boarding schools abroad so then can prepare them for life at university.
There are so many other things [more] important than just living on your own. Most of our kids … are managing their own lives in and out every day, but the support system they have around them is really important
David Lovelin
However, Lovelin believes it is more important for the long-term benefit of youngsters to strengthen family bonds between parents and children during their high school years before they go to university.
“There are so many other things that are [more] important than just living on your own,” Lovelin says.
“Most of our kids … are managing their own lives in and out every day, but the support system they have around them is really important.
“When they move to college [university], they want to have that connection still. When a child moves away at 14, they usually haven’t worked those issues out with their families yet.”
Often a great deal of emphasis is placed on the kindergarten and early-primary years as being important developmental years for children.
One of the mistakes that people make is they look at school kids and they see the amazing things that they’re doing and they think of them as being adults – and they aren’t. They’re still kids
David Lovelin
However, Lovelin believes it is still really important for parents to be involved with their children’s lives through the “complicated years” between the ages of 14 and 18.
“During those years there’s a ton coming at kids,” he says. “The stress of trying to figure out what’s happening next in life, but also the stress of ‘what does that person think of me?’ or ‘what’s happening on social media?’.
“I think one of the mistakes that people make is they look at school kids and they see the amazing things that they’re doing and they think of them as being adults – and they aren’t. They’re still kids.

“Being around [your kids] as a parent and knowing when your kid is having a hard day, and when they’re having a great day, is key.”
It is no secret that parenting is hard; in fact, one reason children are sent to boarding school is to ease the burden on parents.
However, successful schools such as HKIS focus on creating great relationships with parents and helping them navigate the incredibly demanding challenges of parenting.
“Parents are as important as everybody else in the community,” says Lovelin, noting that HKIS hosts frequent coffee gatherings with teachers, students and staff.
“It takes everybody in the community working together in a positive way to create a really incredible experience for kids.”
I think having parents around the school is a good thing. It's a matter of them making sure there’s protocols with how we communicate, and making sure that the students have the opportunity to own their education
David Lovelin
One of the greatest challenges for parents is that they often care too much, such as “Tiger moms” – those parents, particularly mothers, who often pressure their children to do well in many high-status extracurricular activities, such as music.
Another parental problem involves “helicopter parenting” – those pressuring parents who pay very close attention to their child’s experiences and problems, particularly at school, and – like helicopters – “hover” around overseeing every part of their life.
Such parents are often intrusive and demand perfection from their children, which can lead youngsters to become excessively self-critical and lacking in confidence and self-belief.
Some people may argue that boarding schools will enable children to escape from these kinds of parenting problems and build up their own independence.
However, Lovelin believes that with good communication, well-meaning parents can become valuable members of the school community.
“I think that having parents around the school is a good thing,” he says. “It’s a matter of them making sure that there’s protocols with how we communicate, and making sure that the students have the opportunity to own their education.
“To me, I welcome helicopter parents because they want to be a part of the school, and the key for me is to find areas in which they can be a part of our school and an active part of our community.”
If a parent swoops in every time [there’s a challenge], your child never has the chance to learn how to deal with that and then three or four years later, they’re in university and they have to do it themselves
David Lovelin
Lovelin advises parents to ensure they stay heavily involved in their children’s education, but at the same time ensure they give youngsters enough “room to breathe”, learn, gain confidence – and even make mistakes on their own.
“If a parent swoops in every time [there’s a challenge], your child never has the chance to learn how to deal with that and then three or four years later, they’re in college [university] and they have to do it themselves,” he says.
“Now is the time for students to learn and try new things, and [work out] how to adapt and adopt as they move forward.”
Although boarding schools can be great for ensuring your child gets a place at a top university, elite international schools such as HKIS have excellent track records when it comes to university placement as well.
Lovelin says HKIS has the “amazing luxury” of having two professional counsellors who help students find not only universities with the best reputation, but also universities that are the best fit.
“If it’s about trying to go to that Ivy League school, our students go to those schools, too,” he says.
“So when you look at the matriculation rate between boarding school, they aren’t different. It’s more about [asking]: ‘what type of experience do you want?’.”


Why it’s important to nurture empathy and compassion in children from an early age

Why boarding school may not be best for children aged 14 to 18

EdTalk HKIS

Hong Kong International School

Dr. Lovelin

Teenagers benefit from having close family support when they need it, but also being given enough space so they have ‘room to breath’, learn, gain confidence – and make mistakes on their own, says David Lovelin, high school principal of Hong Kong International School.

Studio shot

News

Hong Kong

Education


Family support during ‘complicated’ high school years is important for teenagers, says David Lovelin, high school principal, Hong Kong International School
Parents should always try to stay heavily involved in their child’s education, but give them freedom to learn and gain confidence – and also make mistakes



Family support during ‘complicated’ high school years is important for teenagers, says David Lovelin, high school principal, Hong Kong International School


EdTalk: Secondary Schools

EdTalk

International schools in Hong Kong

Morning Studio