Advice: My friend doesn’t understand how tough it is for me to keep up with him in sports

Difficulty: Explorer (Level 1)

It sounds like you put a lot of effort into the sports you play. Seeing your friend do things so easily can feel discouraging. And you might be sad when he does not listen to your problems.

There are two things to consider: how you see yourself and how to open up to your friend.

It can be motivating to compare your abilities with someone who is better at sports. But watch out for unhealthy thoughts that hurt you. You are not a failure if you need to try harder to achieve your goals. It is normal to have struggles.

Find a time to talk to your friend about how he has not been listening to you.

What can he do to be a better friend? Do you just want him to be a better listener when you feel upset? Would you want to go for extra practice sessions with him? Do you want him to share the tips that he has learned?

It is important to know how you want to be supported. Make sure you tell that clearly to him. At the same time, remember that your struggles will help you become a stronger athlete and person.

Talk it out

• How do you feel when your friend outshines you?

• Why is it important to keep trying even if we fail at first?

This was answered by the Department of Health under Shall We Talk, a mental well-being initiative launched with the Advisory Committee on Mental Health.