Wei Wei

Being Chinese | I am a Chinese mother. Hear me worry

Like Mencius’ mum, I want to give my son a better learning environment, including by moving house. Yet I also want him to be happy

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Children play with spinning chairs at a shopping mall in Beijing on July 13. Photo: AP

Wei Wei

Published: 9:30am, 7 Sep 2024Updated: 9:35am, 8 Sep 2024

My son is 29 months old and, already, I am anxious about his education. Recently, I have been thinking about moving from Beijing’s east to its west, where high-quality schools and learning resources are more abundant, as some of my friends with children have done.

As Chinese, we seem to be saddled with that sort of legacy. We all know the story of how the widowed mother of Chinese philosopher Mencius moved house three times to ensure her boy grew up in the right environment.

The story goes that when little Mencius lived near a graveyard, he learned to wail like mourners and dig tombs. They moved near a market and he soon started to imitate people’s hawking and bargaining. Only when they moved near a school did the boy begin to study hard, eventually becoming a sage.

Modern Chinese parents subscribe to a similar idea: of not letting their children fail at the starting line. It reflects their high expectations of their children in what will be a competitive environment.

Chinese parents strive to create the best conditions for their children’s growth by investing in their early education, choosing the best learning resources and adopting the latest methods in childhood education to ensure their all-round development. But this also creates a lot of pressure for both parent and child. Finding a balance between these educational goals and the child’s mental health and happiness is not easy.

I do not expect my son to become a sage like Mencius. But I do, like Mencius’ mother, try my best to provide a better environment for him.

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