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Zoey Zhang

A statuesque woman in China was told by a man that she was too tall to date because mainland men prefer partners who are “cute and helpless-looking”.
Wang Xiaoqing is 173cm tall (5 feet 8 inches) and hails from the Pearl River Delta Region in southeastern China, where the average height of a female is 159.7cm.
During her childhood, Wang often received compliments from classmates about her stature.
However, after she started dating, Wang’s perception of height underwent a “dramatic change”.
She was introduced to a man who was 180cm tall, and after adding her on WeChat, he immediately said: “If you were 170cm tall, your stature would be a bit large, and we wouldn’t quite match. I prefer someone who is more xiao niao yi ren.”

Xiao niao yi ren, which literally means “a small bird snuggling up to a person”, is used to describe women who are cute and helpless-looking.
In anger and frustration, Wang deleted the man from her friends list.
In 2023, China’s population of single people reached 240 million, and xiang qin, or blind dates, have become one of the main ways to find a partner.
Xiang qin is a traditional Chinese custom similar to Western matchmaking, where individuals are introduced to each other to consider the possibility of a relationship and marriage.
In China, men use keywords such as petite, cute and gentle to describe their preferences for women.
Keywords that women often use to describe men include good character, emotionally stable, and handsome.
Chinese people share common requirements for appearance, education, and financial status when dating.

“Guys should be around 180cm tall and their education level shouldn’t be lower than mine,” said Evelyn Guo, a 24-year-old college student in Beijing.
“My sister introduced a girl to me, but she didn’t even add me on WeChat, because I don’t own a house or a car,” said Zhang Sicheng, a 30-year-old consultant in Shanghai.
However, being “over-qualified”, such as being too handsome or having too high an education level can also be a disadvantage.
“I tend to be cautious with handsome guys because they are usually playboys,” said Sophie, a 26-year-old bank manager in Wuhan in central China.
Maggie, a Shanghai-based designer who has been on three blind dates, said: “If the guy’s salary is much higher than mine, I may feel insecure, thinking I’m not good enough for him.”
Dating consultant, Xiao Yizi, said that having the right values, a stable income, and a good education remain mainstream in the Chinese dating market.
Xiao’s online course on Douyin, “Love formula: how to choose the right partner”, has over 120 million views.
In mainland China, the most ideal professions for partners are teachers, civil servants, and doctors, according to a romantic relationship outlook survey in 2023 on Xiaohongshu.
Meanwhile, law and computer science majors make up the largest chunk of single people.


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People & Culture

Gender & Diversity

Striking woman sees attitude to being tall change when she begins to date
Mainland men prefer petite, cute and gentle women, according to social media


A woman in China who stands at 173cm tall has been shocked to find that most mainland men shy away from her because of her height, saying they prefer a “cute and helpless-looking” date.


Dating

Women and gender

Dating in China: statuesque woman told being tall is a disadvantage as mainland men prefer ‘cute and helpless-looking’ dates

Striking woman sees attitude to being tall change when she begins to date Mainland men prefer petite, cute and gentle women, according to social media

Striking woman sees attitude to being tall change when she begins to date

Mainland men prefer petite, cute and gentle women, according to social media