‘What did I do to deserve this?’: Instagram video reveals K-pop star Sulli’s final months of mental health struggle

Oct 16 , 2019

South Korean pop star and actress Sulli, seen posing for the cameras at an event in Seoul on September 30, 2015. Sulli was found dead at her home south on Monday, October 14. Photo: Newsis via AP

The sudden and shocking death of Choi Jin-ri, better known as Sulli, a former member of K-pop group f(x), gives extra meaning to a poignant poem she posted on her Instagram account six months ago with a photo of her cat, according to some fans. Sulli was found dead in her apartment on Monday, October 14, according to SBS. Police confirmed that she was discovered at a house in Seongnam, south of Seoul, by her manager.

The poem, the title of which roughly translates as Why Can't You Know, was written by a winner in the 2008 annual spring literary contest run by Daegu-based daily newspaper Maeil.

No English translation could be found, but the poem reads:

People praise lotus flowers for blooming in dirty water

W hy can't you know I am not dirty enough to have them flower

I am the house that lotus lives in

According to reports on Nextshark, Instagram Live videos of the star have surfaced as well, in which Sulli was seen asking the audience to “cut her some slack”.

The 25-year-old actress also said, “I’m not a bad person. I’m sorry. Why are you saying bad things about me? What did I do to deserve this?”

If you, or someone you know, are having suicidal thoughts, help is available. For Hong Kong, dial +852 2896 0000 for The Samaritans or +852 2382 0000 for Suicide Prevention Services. In the US, call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on +1 800 273 8255. For a list of other nations’ helplines, see this page.

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This article was originally written by Cho Hae-min for The Korea Times.

Additional reporting by Lim Li Ying.

K-pop, Mandopop and other Asian pop

The troubled K-pop and K-drama star left the poem on her Instagram account six months ago. Live video has also surfaced of former (f)x singer Sulli asking the audience to ‘cut her some slack’