First impressions?

The limousine sent to pick us up at the Taipa Ferry Terminal is a refashioned London black cab wrapped in a tartan skin. The inside is roomy and the ride to the hotel regal.

Grand lobby The Crystal Palace is inspired by Claridge’s of London, and has the same sober black-and-white colour scheme. Standing in the middle of the atrium is a replica of the Shaftesbury Memorial Fountain (or Eros), a landmark in London’s Piccadilly Circus.

Everywhere are references and details: from the interior of the patisserie and cake shop Churchill’s Table Boutique, which gives a nod to Harrods food halls; to The Residence bar (of which more later), which is modelled on the kind of cigar lounge British wartime prime minister Winston Churchill would have approved of.

Life-size statues of, well, Londoners stand to attention around the hotel, but because of the solemn mood (it’s all that black) the chap lurking by the lift on my floor, dressed in a three-piece suit and bowler hat and leaning on a cane, makes me jump more than once.

The attention to detail extends to the hospitality. I am surprised to find in my room a couple of puppy plushies sitting on the king-size bed and a yoga mat. The hotel staff have, apparently, checked my (public) Instagram account and noted I am a pet owner and a yoga enthusiast.

Those staff can be reached at all times via WeChat – or Instagram, perhaps.

Tell us more about the accommodation

London’s David Collins Studio collaborated on the design of the Beckham suites, which feature a mainly black and gold palette that is supposed to evoke a sense of elegance. But if you fancy holidaying like a celebrity in Beckham luxury, with “all the home comforts he enjoys when travelling”, you’re probably going to be disappointed; these suites are available by invitation only.

The regular suites come in names that evoke the future (Louis; after little Prince Louis of Wales, who is fourth in line to the throne), the past (Victoria; no, not Posh Spice or Mrs Beckham, but Queen Victoria) and longevity (Windsor, after the ruling house of Britain).

My Louis Suite has a spacious living room and a cosy bedroom. The large bathroom has both a bathtub and a shower, as well as an automated toilet.

The hotel’s “club”, The Residence, is another highlight. Created by Hong Kong designer Alan Chan, the 11,800 sq ft (1,100 square metre) space is divided into themed rooms connected by walls lined with contemporary art.

Buffet breakfast, afternoon tea and evening cocktails are served here, but guests unfamiliar with the floor plan run the risk of getting lost while looking for them. The mazelike space has hallways that all look almost identical.

The disorientation is worth it, though – and it’s not just me who is impressed; the club was named Best Restaurant in Asia-Pacific at the International Hotel & Property Awards 2022.

What’s there to see?

“Londoner moments”, also known as Instagram hotspots, are scattered throughout the resort and they are fun to check out. The Black Cab Escape, a minute-long ride with Beckham’s hologram, is a must; as are the large red double-decker bus and the facade of 10 Downing Street complete with bronze statues of Churchill – and Larry the Cat.

A nightly light show, from 6.30pm to 11.30pm, turns the facade of The Londoner Macao into a colourful digital canvas they should have dubbed the Glitz Spirit.

What’s there to do?

The Shoppes at Londoner are standard fare for Macau, although the high-end mall must be unique in some way, as it was honoured with the most innovative retail and tourism destination prize at the Global RLI Awards 2022.

Restaurants include The Huaiyang Garden, which is headed by Zhou Xiaoyan – according to Sands, the “godfather of Huaiyang cuisine” – and one of eight “favourites” identified by the Michelin guide in its Hong Kong Macau 2023 update.

If you are not the shop-eat-shop-repeat type, then it’s worth seeing the “teamLab SuperNature” exhibition over at The Venetian. London to Venice in this instance is a mere 25-minute walk and the interactive, immersive 3D experience – wherein the visitor becomes “at one with the art” – is well worth the trek, especially if you have a family to amuse.

Spa lovers will have to look elsewhere for some pampering, though, as The Londoner doesn’t have one.

What’s the bottom line?

A night in the Louis Suite costs HK$9,298 (US$1,184) plus 15 per cent. Icy stares from the gent by the lifts are free of charge.