Opinion | Driving me mad: where did Hong Kong motorists learn their annoying habits, from speeding to parking and changing lanes?
- Every country has its bad drivers, and Hong Kong’s worst must have studied hard to do the wrong thing and make it look so natural
- From trying to mate with the vehicle in front before passing on the inside, to never giving way or indicating, here are some common annoyances
Back in the 1960s comedian and actor Bob Newhart performed a famous stand-up monologue called the Bus Drivers’ School. His premise was that American bus drivers must be specially taught to make life hell for their passengers, because they did it in ways which couldn’t simply be instinctive. Skills on the school’s curriculum included slamming doors in the faces of old ladies and mispronouncing street names.
Listening to this again recently, it occurred to me that there is perhaps a similar institution offering advanced driving tuition to Hong Kong motorists. Many have mastered road skills that they cannot possibly have been taught by the HK School of Motoring, or any equivalent institution here or overseas.
Classes, I imagine, would cover some or all of the following disciplines.
Tailgating: on Hong Kong’s congested roads there is no room for braking distance. Drive as close to the vehicle in front of you as possible – particularly at speed.
Signalling: optional. Why not allow your fellow motorists the entertaining diversion of guessing what you are going to do next? If you do decide to use an indicator, leave it to the very last minute before making your move. Advanced Hong Kong drivers like to signal left just before turning right. But if merely changing lanes, you shouldn’t bother at all.
Speed limits: to be strictly observed in the field of view of enforcement cameras, or on stretches of road where traffic policemen are known to lurk. Otherwise to be ignored. When slowing down for a camera, slam on the brakes within the last few metres before passing it.
