At 5, he asked his mum what ‘gay’ was; now he is the CEO and founder of Out Leadership

Todd Sears, the CEO and founder of Out Leadership, the global LGBTQ business network, talks about play-acting, letter writing and working as an openly gay man

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Todd Sears, the CEO and founder of Out Leadership, the global LGBTQ business network, talks to Fionnuala McHugh about play-acting, letter writing and open accounting. Photo: Xiaomei Chen

Published: 7:15am, 13 May 2023Updated: 7:34am, 13 May 2023

The story of my childhood is lonely: an only child, who moved around and knew he was gay. I’ve later come to realise it has enabled me to do what I do in the world and it was a gift but, as a kid, you don’t understand that.

I was born in 1976 and grew up in North Carolina, in the US. My dad was in textiles, a dying industry – it was all going to China – and the companies would either be sold or go out of business. So we moved. I went to nine schools.

My mom’s a nurse with a master’s in prenatal and post-partum care. At the age of five, I asked her what “gay” was. I’d heard it in the playground; the guys would play kickball but, from a very early age, I’d feel more comfortable with the girls.

My mom said, “That’s when two men love each other.” I said, “Could I be gay?” and she said, “You could, and that would be OK.”

There’s a book by Andrew Tobias called The Best Little Boy in the World (1973). It’s this concept that gay men overachieve to make up for being gay. The idea is that if we’re perfect, and you find out we’re gay, you’ll still love us.

That was me. I was an Eagle Scout, got straight As, played the piano at festivals.