Couples forced into long-distance relationships by coronavirus pandemic describe how they stay involved in each other’s daily lives and keep the fires burning

Two couples decided they had to be apart for the sake of their children’s education, a third have business obligations. They describe how they stay connected

The ability to communicate and feel an attachment from a distance is key, says a couples counsellor. So is trust, says one wife whose husband is still in Asia

Reading Time:5 minutes

Charissa Chan and Sam Lynn, who met in Hong Kong, have not seen each other since Christmas 2019. The coronavirus pandemic has forced the couple and others into long-distance relationships. Photo: Charissa Chan

Published: 9:15am, 11 Sep 2021Updated: 3:10pm, 11 Sep 2021

Celine Suiter, a Singapore-based photographer and long-term expat, has not seen her husband since September 23, 2020, when he left to take up a new position in France.

Closed borders and the risk of being stranded have made a reunion impossible. The couple are now counting the days until they will be together again: 285. After her son’s high school graduation in May 2022, Suiter, 51, will say goodbye to Asia and join her husband in her native France.

“An IB [International Baccalaureate] programme at a top school was very important to both our son and to us – and since we know there is a time limitation on it, we decided to live separately for a while so that he could graduate from his amazing school in Singapore,” says Jeff Suiter, 52.

Long-distance relationships and marriages are not a new phenomenon. Some choose this model for life. But with logistical complications because of the extended coronavirus pandemic, an increasing number of couples are now involuntarily separated for much longer periods of time.

Artwork by Celine Suiter that expresses her separation from her husband, Jeff, who is in France. Photo: Celine Suiter

Couples therapist Adam Rose, based in Shenzhen, southern China, over the border from Hong Kong has had numerous client couples living in separate countries for months at a time – not only during the pandemic, but also because of life or career transitions.

Rose believes that the defining factor for success in long-distance marriages and relationships is the ability to communicate and feel an attachment even from a distance. “No matter our location, we can still feel connected emotionally if we are speaking to each other in meaningful ways and driving our thoughts toward our alliance in a proactive way,” he says.