The things many Hongkongers don’t seem to understand about sex

A sex therapist and a family planning teacher outline some of the fallacies people have about sex

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Grace Lee of the Family Planning Association of Hong Kong. Sex education begins at home, says the slogan on the wall behind her. Photo: Jonathan Wong

Published: 6:00am, 19 May 2016Updated: 6:52pm, 27 Nov 2017

Besides the fact that most people do not perform like porn stars, Hongkongers hold many other fallacies about sex. Karen Lau and Grace Lee, education manager at the Family Planning Association, say major misconceptions include:

• Female orgasm: Many think that climax is possible with just vaginal penetration but that is not the case for most women, who need clitoral stimulation. . “Among my female clients, most of them have not touched their clitoris,” Lau says. “Knowledge of the clitoris appears to be have been censored here.” (http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/difference-between-clitoral-and-vaginal-orgasm)

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• Vaginal douching: Women should not clean their vagina with soap, because the secretions are acidic and soap will wash them away, Lau says. “That irritates their vagina over the long term … so when they actually have sex, it hurts … and they don’t know that’s abnormal.” (http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/vagina-health/Pages/keep-vagina-clean.aspx)

• Rapid recovery: Men have a refractory period after orgasm, during they do not respond to sexual stimulation, Lau says. “But they seem to expect that they should be able to become aroused quickly afterwards like in a movie.” (http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/sexual-response-cycle)

• Foreplay: Some expect women to be sufficiently aroused for vaginal sex after a few minutes of kissing and cuddling, but that’s not really possible, Lau says. “Women need more time to get aroused compared to men.” (http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/sex-why-foreplay-matters-especially-for-women)

• Better in the dark: Some people turn off all the lights during sex, but that eliminates all visual stimulation, Lee says. “Our brain is our biggest sex organ.”