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9 reasons we lie in our relationships, from not wanting to be ‘mean’ to hiding spending habits – how to communicate better this Valentine’s Day

  • The truth may set you free, but it’s hard to be completely honest in romantic relationships, where we lie to avoid conflict, preserve our autonomy and more
  • With Valentine’s Day around the corner, here are common reasons partners hide the truth from each other, and how to be honest to preserve your relationship

Reading Time:3 minutes
Why you can trust SCMP
People in a relationship lie to each other for a variety of reasons. If you have not been honest about how close you are to an ex-partner, for example, isn’t it time to come clean for the sake of your relationship? Photo: Shutterstock

You’ve probably heard the phrase “honesty is the best policy”, but this advice is not always easy to implement, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

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Some people surprise themselves by the ease with which they tell “white lies”.

Others normalise lying by saying things like, “it’s just what couples do” or “what they don’t know won’t hurt them”.

If you have recently caught yourself being not 100 per cent honest (or even flat-out dishonest) with your partner, it might be time to reflect on the reasons behind it. Here are some of the most common ones.

Being completely honest with your partner is difficult, and we each have our own reasons for telling lies big and small. Photo: Shutterstock
Being completely honest with your partner is difficult, and we each have our own reasons for telling lies big and small. Photo: Shutterstock

You’re maintaining previous lies

Telling seemingly insignificant lies at the start of a relationship can come back to haunt us as we find ourselves having to maintain them.

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