Luisa Tam

The Naked Truth | Negativity is like slow-acting poison for a relationship. Counter it by focusing on the positives, what’s good about your partner, and treasure your time together

It may be that you take each other for granted, or are feeling bored. Whatever the cause of your negativity, you can still draw strength from your relationship

Create a secure environment where you can learn to express your needs in a positive, guilt-free way, and appreciate the little daily moments you spend together

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A clinical psychologist offers advice on how to keep a long-term relationship from falling apart. Photo: Shutterstock

Luisa Tam

Published: 2:00am, 18 Apr 2021Updated: 2:25am, 18 Apr 2021

Sometimes, people in a long-term partnership find it difficult to see anything other than the problems – or worse, they see problems that don’t exist.

It’s often because they take the relationship and their partner for granted. It can also be the result of emotional dumping, feeling bored in the relationship, or in the hopes that the other person will end things because the love is gone.

Whatever the underlying motives, there is no running away and both partners need to face the music.

You can still draw strength from a relationship even when things are less than hunky dory. Do this by shifting your perspective and focusing on the positives, not the negatives. These positives might even be elements in your relationship that you gloss over because they seem unremarkable.

Quratulain Zaidi is a clinical psychologist at MindnLife in Hong Kong. Photo: courtesy of Quratulain Zaidi

Dr Quratulain Zaidi, a Hong Kong-based clinical psychologist, says we all have a tendency to highlight the negative aspects of our experiences.