With divorce rates rising, how to make your love last – seven tips from a therapist
- Marital problems are made worse by a lack of understanding, and work and family pressures
- Tips include premarital counselling, learning each other’s love language and making time for each other
There is no denying the romance factor of February. Valentine’s Day makes me think of engagements, weddings and anniversaries. February 14 has long been a popular wedding date for celebrities, and proved the perfect date for actor Orlando Bloom to propose to singer Katy Perry.
While Hong Kong’s romantics have consistently been among the world’s biggest Valentine’s Day spenders in surveys in recent years, it’s clear that a month of romantic gestures isn’t enough to sustain the flame of marital love.
The latest government figures, released last year, reveal that divorce is on the rise in Hong Kong. According to the Census and Statistics Department, the number of divorces has been increasing continuously, with the crude divorce rate at 2.34 per 1,000 population in 2016, more than double that seen in 1991.
Of those unhappy couples who stay together, counsellors say some hang on because of children, money or fear. Feeling too ashamed to admit their marriage is broken and seek professional guidance, unhappy couples often commit to a life of artificial appearance and extreme loneliness.
For couples seeking help, Hong Kong-based marriage and family therapist Cindy Bonacorso LaTour says that common complaints include feeling a lack of appreciation, miscommunication, parenting differences, an emotional or physical disconnect with a partner, and infidelity.
Asked if these complaints are universal, LaTour says most couples’ wants and needs are the same, but living in Hong Kong can add pressure.
