The Naked Truth | Lonely hearts beware: when money talks, is it the language of love?
Couples looking for romance should be clear what they want from a relationship: a lavish lifestyle, financial security or emotional riches. Some experts offer guidance
“I would rather cry in a BMW than smile on a bicycle” – that was one Chinese woman’s take on the ideal mate when she appeared on a matchmaking TV show. Many viewers were shocked by her materialistic response in 2010, but the sense that money can buy love persists today.
Dating coach and relationship expert Valentina Tudose, of Happy Ever After, a “singles coaching programme”, says couples should be clear early on about what they really need from a relationship.
“The traditional outlook on relationships required the man to be the provider and some people still believe that a show of wealth is a great way to a woman’s heart,” she says. “While it is true that some women still expect to be lavished with gifts, others may prefer to be treated differently in order to be convinced this relationship is for them and may even dislike ostentatious gestures.”
Tudose refers to the concept of “five love languages” advocated by American author Gary Chapman for how to express and experience love. Besides expressing love through gifts, the other “languages” include quality time, acts of service (devotion), words of appreciation, and physical touch, she says.
“It’s essential to understand each other’s preferred love language because it’s vital to building long-lasting relationships. It can also remove a lot of the stress caused by misunderstandings or incompatible values,” Tudose says.
