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Daniel Eagan

2/5 stars
Christmas with The Rock is not nearly as much fun as one would hope.
In Red One, Dwayne Johnson stars as Cal, chief security officer to Santa Claus (J.K. Simmons). Burned out from the stress of dealing with humans, Cal is about to retire when his boss is kidnapped on Christmas Eve.
This is the baffling premise of Jake Kasdan’s action comedy, apparently geared towards prepubescent boys who think Christmas does not have enough firepower – or trolls, witches, torture chambers, slap fights and car chases.


Helping Cal rescue Santa is Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans), an alcoholic gambler in debt to the mob and a long-time Christmas cynic.
Having abandoned his son Dylan (Wesley Kimmel) to his ex-wife’s new family, Jack is in a great position to learn some life lessons from Cal and his team of polar bears, elves, and femme fatale Zoe (Lucy Liu).
Their search for Santa leads to Aruba – played here by Hawaii – where they fight murderous snowmen.
Cal and Jack learn that Ted, a sleazy fence played by the amusingly abrasive Nick Kroll, has sold the whereabouts of Santa’s hidden North Pole headquarters to someone in Berlin.

That someone turns out to be Krampus (Kristofer Hivju), Santa’s adopted brother and originator of the infamous “Naughty List”.
Zipping to Germany through a secret portal in a toy-shop supply closet, Cal has to face off against Krampus in his fortress of horrors.
Just like Cal, the Christmas spirit takes a pounding here.

Forget “Peace on Earth”, Chris Morgan’s screenplay unleashes hellhounds, bloodthirsty monsters, atomic stun guns and a device that traps human souls in snow globes. This last invention is operated by Grýla (Kiernan Shipka), a witch with a leather fetish.
Fights erupt in apartments, shopping malls, beaches, castles and the North Pole, the latter portrayed as a sort of Asgard straight out of Thor: Ragnarok. Surprisingly, Johnson’s Cal fares poorly in them, generally knocked silly by his foes.
Hollywood periodically mines Christmas for action comedies: Disney’s The Santa Claus series and How the Grinch Stole Christmas, for instance. David Harbour’s Santa even got the John Wick treatment in Violent Night.

Those movies at least tried to be fun. Red One is almost entirely humourless. Reliable performers like Simmons and Bonnie Hunt (as Santa’s wife) are undermined by weak material. Even Evans’ broad Boston accent falls flat.
Morgan contributed to several entries in the Fast & Furious franchise, while Kasdan directed the far more entertaining Jumanji movies. They have both worked with Johnson before, which makes the actor’s sullen, tone-deaf performance here all that more inexplicable.
After his last few movies, The Rock cannot afford outings like this.
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The Rock gets knocked silly by monsters and murderous snowmen in his bid to save Santa Claus in a festive film devoid of Christmas cheer


The Rock gets knocked silly by monsters and murderous snowmen in his bid to save Santa Claus in a festive film devoid of Christmas cheer.


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An assessment or critique of a service, product or creative endeavour.  Film reviews, restaurant reviews, reviews of art exhibitions. (Eg. Crazy Rich Asians: an important film, yes, but a good one?)


Review

Review | Red One movie review: Christmas action comedy with Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans is too dark

The Rock gets knocked silly by monsters and murderous snowmen in his bid to save Santa Claus in a festive film devoid of Christmas cheer