The Naked Truth | How to forgive yourself and why self-forgiveness helps us truly give love to others
- Self-forgiveness is about having a different understanding of yourself. Accept what you did wrong, learn from it, and communicate this to your partner
- Be mature enough to learn from your mistakes – we cannot have a healthy relationship with others if we don’t have one with ourselves first
Self-forgiveness is the biggest gift we can give ourselves, but it’s not an easy one to attain.
People who withhold self-love often find that they are constantly at war with themselves. So, when things go wrong in a relationship, it leaves them feeling unfulfilled and unloved.
Having the punishing feeling that we have done wrong things in the past makes it difficult to forgive ourselves. This self-punishment we inflict upon ourselves means we are constantly holding ourselves accountable, because we don’t want to repeat the same mistake that has hurt the people we love.
Unfortunately, this negatively critical mindset will not do us – or our loved ones – any good. On the contrary, it will make us feel disconnected. It also breeds insecurity, fear, self-rejection and self-hatred; these poisonous feelings stop us from finding true happiness and love. And rather worryingly, this mindset causes us to attract people and get into situations that reinforce our belief that there is something wrong with us and we are unforgivable.
Sonia Samtani, a clinical hypnotherapist, life coach, and relationship and wellness coach, explains what self-forgiveness means in a romantic relationship.
