Shades Off | Why the thought of retirement frightens me so much
- As the moment approaches, my main fear is not a loss of freedom but having too much of it
- The problem is that I have no idea what to do when my working life ends after four decades of full-time employment
There is no shortage of people I can call on to ask what it’s like being retired. There are three types: the person who goes all-out and heads for a beach or mountaintop; the half-glass-full variety, who opt for part-time work, often doing the same as they had before for two or three days a week; and, the one who just can’t give it up, for whatever reason.
I can’t get my head around the latter, the in-between category has an appeal, and the first I find frightening. The reason is simple: in four decades of employment, I’ve never not had a full-time job.
I’m proud of having always been employed, seeing it as a measure of my abilities. But that’s also a handicap for retirement, as a colleague pointed out. If I had been out of work for a period, I would know what it feels like and be prepared. I would even know how good it can be for body and mind.
Counselling sessions can be cathartic and the reason for my fear came out during one discussion. I told my therapist I was not afraid of being arrested and spending time in prison for a journalistic error of judgment. Losing my freedom was, in a way, similar to having a full-time job and answering to a boss.
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Workers unhappy about China’s plan to change decades-old retirement age rules
Retirement would mean answering only to myself and being able to do what I liked, whenever I wanted – in effect, I would have too much freedom. My problem, then, is that I have no idea what to do when my working life ends.
