7 tips for solo travel inspired by a trip to Tokyo

Travelling by yourself comes with its highs and lows. Sure, if something goes wrong, you don’t have anyone with you to get you through it, but also, you don’t have to worry about stressing out your travel buddy because you can’t find your Airbnb address when you’re at the immigration desk.

Japan is one of the best places to visit alone: you can nestle into a solitary routine without judgment. In the morning, you’re not some person sitting by yourself at breakfast. You’re one of eight sitting by themselves at breakfast. In the evening, you’re just another solo bather at the public hot spring. You can eat alone, drink alone, see a baseball game alone.

Here are seven lessons learned from a solo trip to Japan to help you navigate the challenges.

1. Fight the urge to get on your phone when you’re feeling shy

The smartphone is the perfect travel companion. It’s there when you’re lost, providing a map to guide you home. It’s there when you’re lonely, connecting you with friends and family at home with a few taps. It’s there when you’re bored, offering you infinite ways to pass the time.

But if you give into the siren song of your iPhone, you won’t talk to anyone new. And you can’t assume they’re going to want to talk to you, either. (Strangers in Tokyo will generally respect your privacy and leave you alone unless they get the sense you’d like to chat – unlike in American dive bars or Scottish pubs, where the default is for locals to strike up conversation.)

On my first full night in Tokyo, I fancied a nightcap. I ambled around until I spotted a bar entrance that looked like a theme-park version of a dungeon. Walking into the smoky unknown felt like being in an old Western movie – that clichéd scene where the new guy walks through the saloon doors and the piano stops. I eased myself onto a teetering stool at the bar.

My first inclination wasn’t to talk to the other customers. What was stronger was the urge to get out my phone and hide inside its glowing warmth. Doing so would have cut me off from the people curiously glancing at me, seemingly the only American there. So I stared – straightforward, sometimes at the bottles on the back bar, sometimes at the decor. I had a mini smile plastered on my face to tell the others, “Hey! I’m friendly!”

My approach worked. I placed a drink order in English but peppered in what Japanese I know, alerting the bar that I couldn’t speak the local language but was sociable and would try. The bartender then asked me where I’m from, and with my answer, another customer asked me what I was doing in Japan. A drink later, he was telling me about a woman from Okinawa he had a crush on, asking me for dating advice.