How to talk to your parents like an adult, avoid arguments, and actually be heard

No matter how old you get, talking to your parents can often feel, well, strained to put it mildly - and don't get us started on what it's like when you want to discuss a difficult topic with them. Part of it is to do with having completely different mindsets. What makes sense to you can seem completely foreign to them simply because it (whatever "it" is) was not a possibility when they were your age. Part of it has to do with you being their child. They might think they know more than you or think they know what’s best for you, because for a long time, they did.

So how can you talk to your folks without it seeming like a frustrating exercise in futility? How do you open up discussion about, say, you wanting to move abroad to study when they’d prefer you to stay put, without it getting shot down immediately? Here are seven tips that might help.

Don’t be scared

You might be worried about your parents’ reaction to whatever you want to discuss with them. As a result, you might want to avoid speaking about it entirely.

Don’t – your parents are supposed to always be there for you. Chances are, they’ll hear you out and try to help you, no matter how embarrassing, worrying, or life-changing your issue may be.

Know who you want to speak to

Maybe it’s better to discuss your subject with your mum first, or you’d feel more comfortable talking to your dad about it. If you have a parent who gets mad quickly, and the other is more calm, then speak to the calmer one first and get them on your side before you speak to the other parent.

Choose your time wisely