How to make friends when you're an adult in a new place

Making friends is easy when you're a kid. You start school and you're surrounded by dozens of potential best mates. But if you are moving to a new town, job or university – especially if you’re going abroad for your studies – you're going to have to establish a whole new set of friends. Making friends when you’re in a new setting can seem much harder and, even when you do, you might be worried that they won’t ever get you the way your bestie does. Here are five ways to make friends once you enter the adult world.

Making friends at university

If you’re going to be living in dorms, you should try to make friends with your dorm mates – they’re the ones you’ll come home to for the next term, or year or more. Don’t hide away in your room after seminars and lectures – make the effort to hang out in the common room, talk about your degrees, or make a meal together in the evening.

There are lots of other ways to make friends – many people, for instance, join national societies when studying abroad, just to have something in common with others. However, don’t feel like you have to. There are plenty of societies out there, so choose ones you want to join.

Try new things

Sign up for a workshop, or join a local sports team or charity. Once you have a common purpose, it's easier to talk to people.

Picking up a new hobby is a really good way of making new friends. If, for example, you’re a newbie photographer then you can ask people for their tips and tricks. If you’re practically a professional, you can help others who might just be starting out.

One of the easiest ways to make new friends once you’ve moved to a new city or a new country (or even if you aren’t moving anywhere at all) is to head to meetup.com. Some of the most popular meetups are hiking-, photography-, and language-related. In foreign places, some of the more popular groups are all about films, interesting talks, and hiking.

Be confident

Approaching people can seem awkward but, often, the other person is just as terrified as you. All it takes to strike up a conversation with someone at your seminar, or at your new summer job, is to smile and say “Hi”. Ask them questions, and be responsive and positive when talking to them. Positive social cues like smiling, looking people in the eyes, and nodding encourage people to continue talking to you. Negative ones, like looking away, crossing your arms, or looking at your phone, will make people think that you don’t want to talk to them.